Screwedwas another nail in the coffin of former Saturday Night Livewisecracker Norm MacDonald, following his dismal previous film, Dirty Work. However, while Screwedisn't particularly funny (the jokes about dentures, dog poop and dead bodies are pretty much as old as the hills), the plot exerts a perverse interest; for most of the film, it's genuinely unpredictable. MacDonald plays Willard, the butler-chauffer, all-purpose flunky of Mrs. Crock, the wealthy, penny-pinching owner of a pastry company. Fed up with her abuse, Willard and his friend Rusty (David Chappelle from Blue Streak and 200 Cigarettes) conspire to kidnap her dog Muffin. But Muffin escapes and returns home; the ransom note is assumed to be for Willard himself. Rusty and Willard run with the idea, sending in a videotape of himself being held prisoner. When a detective starts getting a little too close, they panic and decide to fake Willard's death. Okay, none of it makes much sense, but in a world of ridiculously formulaic films which slavishly follow every screenwriting cliché Screwed seems like a brief oasis of narrative invention. Of course, it still isn't funny. And by the end, it's lost whatever spark of imagination that got it started. Too bad. It's written by Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski, the screenwriters responsible for Problem Child, but also for Ed Wood and The People vs Larry Flynt--they should stick to biographies. --Bret Fetzer, Amazon.com
Following a daring escape from a Confederate prison camp during the American Civil War Captain Cyrus Smith (Kyle MacLachlan - Desperate Housewives Twin Peaks) and his comrades are swept out to sea by a perilous storm and crash-land on a lost tropical isle full of dangerous secrets. Salvation comes in the form of Captain Nemo (Patrick Stewart - X-Men Star Trek The Next Generation) the troubled hero of Jules Verne's 20 000 Leagues Under The Sea who has built a fortress on the island and claimed it as his scientific playground. When Nemo learns of Cyrus' engineering background he tries to enlist Cyrus in his ultimate project - the creation of a doomsday weapon that Nemo believes will end all war forever. After Cyrus doubts Nemo and his weapon the castaways are thrown out left to fend for themselves against the wrath of Mother Nature betrayed. Will the escapees betray their ideals and ask Nemo for help or will he unleash the power of his terrible weapon?
Chauffeur Willard Fillmore (Norm MacDonald) is over-abused and under-appreciated by his boss from hell Miss Crock (Elaine Stritch). Desperate for a payback he enlists the help of his hotheaded best friend Rusty (Dave Chappell) and they decide to dognap Miss Crock's precious pooch and hold it for ransom. But when the dog escapes and Miss Crock thinks Willard's the one being held for a price they must get help from the creepy and crazy mortician Grover Cleaver (Danny DeVito) to cash in on the payoff. Now the three have triple the trouble and triple the fun as they try to get even without getting screwed!
A girl and her two friends raid a bank, looking for the money needed for financing the cure of her dying father.
If you don't believe in voodoo... pray you never have to! When a young man relocates his family from New York to London his wife discovers a horrifying new sexual power that threatens to tear the family apart...
Join Stan Kyle Cartman and Kenny as these four animated tykes take on the supernatural the extraordinary and the insane. For them it's all a part of growing up in South Park. An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig: The boys attempt to breed an elephant with a pot-bellied pig and the town/s geneticist creatures an evil clone from Stan's DNA. Death: While their parents are out of town protesting against the kids' favourite TV shoe Terrance and Phillip Death pays a visit to South Park Pinkeye: On Halloween a mishap at the morgue transforms the residents of South Park into brain-eating zombies interfering with the school's costume and the boy's trick or treating. Tom's Rhinoplasty: Mr. Garrison deserts his class for a visit to Tom's Rhinoplasty and Wendy is afraid that substitute teacher Ms. Ellen has her eye on Stan.
Bartholemew Sholto is working in his laboratory when a pygmy-like native fires a poison dart with a blowpipe into the back of his neck killing him instantly. A one-legged accomplice joins the native by climbing up through the window and places a note on the dead body that reads; 'The Sign Of Four'. So begins one of Sherlock Holmes' most exciting adventures as a Miss Morston who is looking for her missing father draws him deeper into the mystery. Holmes attempts to discover the meaning of those four cryptic words with the help of his superior brain his amazing talent for disguise the gang of street urchins he employs called the Baker Street Irregulars and his friend and chronicler Dr. Watson.
He was dashing debonair and daring. He had pledged to fight evil to undertake any dangerous or delicate mission on behalf of his sovereign. He was fin de siecle gentleman Adam Adamant. Was and is - for Adam Adamant Lives! A Vintage Year for Scoundrels: Lured from an opulent ballroom to the rat-ridden streets of Edwardian Stepney Adam Adamant confronts his most deadly enemy - the Face an evil genius who condemns him to a state of suspended animation entombed in a block of ice. When he awakens sixty-four years later in the sordid swinging sixties streets of Soho the bemused and befuddled adventurer is befriended by Georgina Jones and is quickly plunged into the twilight world of gangsters and protection rackets. Death Has a Thousand Faces: Why does death lie in wait for the man with the stick of rock? What does the coded cipher hidden inside it mean? To find out Adam and Georgina drive to Blackpool where they're enmeshed in a world of drama and danger where fear lurks in every fairground and the executioner's block in the Horror Museum awaits another noble neck. As the seconds tick away it looks as if Blackpool's Golden Mile will be reduced to a pile of dust-swirling debris - can Adam prevent it from becoming a mere golden memory?
It's two days before graduation and Jack (Affleck) is having serious doubts about the future. The old gang is breaking up: Rob (Rockwell) is moving to L.A. with his girlfriend; Dennis (Stewart) is finishing his third degree and going to grad school in Michigan; Slosh has dropped out of school and stays drunk all the time; and Mickey who still has a year of school to go seems tired of the scene and wishes he had the guts to tell his friend Chelsea (Milano) how he feels about her. As
The Red Badge Of Gayness: Cartman attempts to change history during the town 'Civil War Enactment' ceremony. Things soon get out of hand and events snowball to a dramatic high. Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics: Mr Hankey celebrates Christmas by introducing a selection of hilarious festive songs from Mr Mackay Cartman The Broflovski family and Mr Garrison. Are You There God? It's me Jesus: Jesus is under pressure to come up with something dramatic for the coming of the new M
In the epic action-adventure Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen Stewart (Twilight) plays the only person in the land fairer than the evil queen (Oscar winner Charlize Theron) who is out to destroy her. But what the wicked ruler never imagined is that the young woman threatening her reign has been training in the art of war with a huntsman (Chris Hemsworth, Thor) who was dispatched to kill her. Sam Claflin (Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides) joins the cast as the prince long enchanted by Snow White's beauty and power. Collector's Edition Includes: A specially created 72 page book including illustrations and articles written by the director, describing his artistic vision for this film 4 lithograph reproductions of original illustrations 4 exclusive film stills Film poster Special Features: A New Legend is Born Citizens of the Kingdom: Fairest of Them All: Snow White Deliciously Evil: Queen Ravenna The Huntsman Motley Crew: The Dwarves 360 Degree Set Views Reinventing the Fairytale The Magic of 'Snow White and the Huntsman'
Follow the adventures of Stan Marsh Kyle Broflovski Kenny McCormik and Eric Cartman in series four of South Park! Do The Handicapped Go To Hell?: When Priest Maxi tells the town that they are going to Hell unless they repent the boys fear for themselves and Timmy. Meanwhile an old flame returns to Hell and makes life difficult for Satan. Probably: Satan is torn between two lovers as he tries to choose between his new boyfriend and his ex. As a last resort he finally looks to
Follow the adventures of Stan Marsh Kyle Broflovski Kenny McCormik and Eric Cartman in series four of South Park! Helen Keller The Musical: The 4th grade Thanksgiving play is in trouble and Stan Kyle Kenny and Cartman go to great lengths to make their production a hit. In the midst of all the chaos Timmy finds an unusual new friend. Fat Camp: Cartman's friends send him to fat camp to lose weight but he has other ideas. Kenny gets his own TV show by being paid to do gross
Marvel Comics' team of mutant superheroes The X-Men return in a sequel to the blockbuster hit of 2001.
Chef Aid: After Alanis Morrisette uses a song Chef wrote years ago the boys and Chef go to the record company to sue. However with Johnny Cochran as their lawyer the record company ends up nailing Chef with a law suit. Spooky Fish: Aunt Flo has her montly visit to Mrs. Marsh and she brings Stan a pet fish which starts killing people. Unfortunately Mrs. Marsh thinks her baby boy has gone bad. Meanwhile there seems to be two Cartmans in South Park. Merry Christmas Charlie Manson: The boys take a trip with Cartman and his mother to Nebraska to celebrate the holidays with the entire Cartman clan. However things get complicated when Cartman's uncle escapes from prison and brings company with him. Gnomes: Due to rumors of Mr. Garrison's incompetent teaching the boys are forced to give current events reports in front of the School Board. Kyle Stan Cartman and Kenny are forced to work with Tweek the son of the town's coffee shop owner. Mr. Tweek decides to use the boys in order to save his small business from the evils of the large coffee titan Harbucks which has moved into town. Also everyone seems to be losing their underpants which Tweek blames on elusive creatures known as the Underpants Gnomes. Prehistoric Ice Man: While hunting for crocdiles the boys stumble upon a man frozen in time since 1996. Kyle and Stan's friendship falls into question as the boys fight over who found him.
Mr Deeds (Dir. Steven Brill 2002): Small town guy Longfellow Deeds (Adam Sandler) inherits a $40 billion fortune from his deceased uncle. He promptly moves to the big city where he meets Babe Bennett (Winona Ryder) a tabloid reporter who poses as a small town girl to uncover an expos on Mr Deeds. Conniving opportunists attempt to get their hands on his money while Deeds' sincere naivet has Babe falling in love with him. Ultimately Deeds comes to find that money truly has the power to change things but it doesn't necessarily need to change him... Big Daddy (Dir. Dennis Dugan 1999): Thirty-two-year old Sonny Koufax (Adam Sandler) has spent his whole life avoiding responsibility. But when his girlfriend dumps him for an older man he's got to find a way to prove he's ready to grow up. In a desperate last-ditch effort Sonny adopts five-year-old Julian to impress her. She's not impressed...and he can't return the kid. Uh-oh for Sonny! Spanglish (Dir. James L. Brooks 2004): A comedy with a language all its own! A woman and her daughter emigrate from Mexico for a new life in America; they end up working for John Clasky (Sandler) who's trying to come to terms with sudden success as a celebrity chef an overly sensitive wife (Tea Leoni) emotional children and an increasing attraction to his new nanny...
Please wait. Loading...
This site uses cookies.
More details in our privacy policy